Decide

comes from the latin de- meaning off and caedere meaning cut.

So, to decide to do something means to cut off any other choices.

I “decided” four years ago to get fit. I “decided” three years ago to get fit. I “decided” two years ago to get fit. I also decided to enjoy happy hour, aperitivo, wine, pasta, Italian food, watching Netflix, knitting, and anything else that I thought was FUN. 

Here’s the problem: Since I decided to put having fun as a priority over getting fit, my decision of getting fit was only something I thought about in the morning while I was getting dressed. Every single time I put on a pair of shorts or pants or a shirt that was too tight I said to myself today is the day, only for at night to have fun. 

Friends & Family who Mean Well

I am 52 years old now (though I generally always feel about 30 – yay me!), I weigh about 145, I am almost 5’10” with small bones, and my BMI is 21.5.

Not bad, you say.

The problem is I am nothing but flab anymore. I have barely any flexibility. Luckily my blood work came back yesterday and my numbers are mostly good. My blood pressure is in the normal range, but it is higher than normal FOR ME. My heart races sometimes – I really don’t dig this – and it’s not because I’m drinking too much coffee. 🤔

The real problem, for me, is that when friends or family or even people I don’t know say to me that I look good it validates to my psyche that I don’t need to do anything except have all that fun. I really do not appreciate being told I look good (I do – don’t get confused here) when what I’m really asking my friends and family for is acknowledgement (tells me they are LISTENING to what I am saying) and accountability (after all, my ego is nothing more than a monkey brain looking for the next big shiny thing to take my mind off of what I truly desire). I might even need a little cheerleading. 👏🎉

It turns out that I have to DECIDE to get fit, instead of just going through some of the motions AND I have to either ignore people who aren’t listening to me or hire a coach. Or just be the half-German stubborn woman that I am. 😁

Steps to Achieving what You Decide

at Every time I decide I want something I “work” at it (do it is more accurate, since I never actually worked on it). What I have never done, though, is know what the actual steps are in achieving said desire.

Currently I am in a life coach training program. LIFE ALTERING is the only way to describe what I’m learning (this will be another post on my new coaching website I am building: https://www.kimberlymozzetti.com

Once you’ve made the decision to do something you need to get it in writing. In my opinion, this is one of the reasons (one of many reasons) why people do not achieve their desires.

Ask yourself these questions, in this order:

  1. What is the minimum you can do?
  2. What is the maximum you can do?
  3. What is in the middle of step 1 and step 2; a realistic stretch?

Then, ask yourself:

  • Specific: What exactly is the very first step of any action/learning/goal identified?
  • Measurable: For what you’ve listed on the specific line above, make sure you have qualified and/or quantified the measure of success.
  • Achievable: Is the initial step possible to achieve?
  • Reasonable: How reasonable is it that what you’re saying you’re going to do can be done at this time?
  • Time: By when, exactly, will you complete this first step of the goal (not the entire goal)?

I want to be Fit

Let me show you how the formula works.

  1. The minimum I can do is take a 30-minute walk three times a week.
  2. The maximum I can do is take a 1-hour walk seven days a week to lose body fat AND do yoga six times a week for flexibility while changing my diet to veganism.
  3. A realistic stretch is walk 45-minutes at least three days a week, practice vinyasa yoga the other three to four days a week, and incorporating a more (but not totally) vegan diet.
  • My very first step is to buy walking clothes that will keep me warm as the weather becomes colder.
  • Is this Measurable? Yes! ✔
  • Is this Achievable? Yes! ✔
  • Is this Reasonable? Yes! ✔
  • When exactly will I complete this first step of the goal? My next payday – November 1, 2018

Example of a non-Doable Goal

Let me change this up just a tad so you can see when I goal isn’t SMART.

  1. The minimum I can do is take a 1-hour walk seven days a week, do yoga seven days a week, and become Vegan.
  2. The maximum I can do is take a 2-hour walk seven days a week to lose body fat AND do yoga seven days a week for flexibility while becoming Vegan. I’ll also get in 15,000 steps a day, eat only organic, with no fat. And I will lose 25 pounds, with at least 15 pounds being fat. I will also drink 96 oz of water daily. While I’m working I will stand all day long at a standing desk, I’ll skimp on breakfast and lunch. I’ll ditch my coffee, because, well, caffeine raises cortisol levels which makes it harder for me to lose weight.
  3. A realistic stretch is to do some form of walking and yoga everyday of the week while being mindful of what I’m ingesting.
  • My very first step is to learn everything there is to know about becoming vegan.
  • Is this Measurable? No ❌ (subjective)
  • Is this Achievable? Yes! ✔
  • Is this Reasonable? Yes! ✔ (subjective)
  • When exactly will I complete this first step of the goal? Tomorrow – I need to get going!
If you answer No to any of the SMART components you need to go back to your goal statement and change it to fit the SMART criteria.

Accountability

Once you’ve made sure your goal is SMART, recap with yourself what you’ve chosen to do. For me it would be, I will purchase a cold weather walking outfit so I can’t make excuses about it being too cold on November 1st. Do I commit to doing this? YES, I do! 

Once you’ve committed to yourself ask this:

What can get in your way to prevent you from achieving this step?

For me, there are two things that can get in the way:

  1. Not having enough money
  2. Not having the transportation to get to Dick’s Sporting Goods.

So, I will plan today how I am going to spend my money BEFORE my money arrives. Instead of spending any on wine I will spend it on an outfit. This kills two birds with one stone: 1) Ingesting fewer calories at night via wine imbibing, and 2) getting the outfit so I can finally start moving my body again. Lack of transportation sucks, but I can tell my mother that I need to go to Dick’s.

I’m creating BOUNDARIES.

Finally, ask yourself for accountability like this:

Dear Sweet Self, how is it that you wish to be accountable?

Some people can hold themselves accountable, others need a friend, family member, or a life coach to hold them accountable. My style of accountability is needing a life coach to be  a bit in my face with it – I need them to flat out ask me, “Hey Kimberly, did you buy that walking outfit yet?” No sugar coating. No niceties. If I didn’t do it then I need the coach to ask me, “What got in the way? How can you prevent that next time?”

Ok, moving on…

How about after the Very First Step has been Completed?

Once the first step (in my case it is to buy something warm to wear while out walking on November 1st, 2018) has been completed, go back to the SMART section and do the same thing for the very next step. So, for me it might be:

  • Put it in my calendar the three days this week that I will walk for 45-minutes. Since the 1st is on Thursday and I have to buy what I need Thursday my three days of walking will be Friday, Sunday, and Tuesday.
  • Is this Measurable? Yes! ✔
  • Is this Achievable? Yes! ✔
  • Is this Reasonable? Yes! ✔
  • When exactly will I complete this first step of the goal? Tuesday, November 6, 2018. 
  • Reconfirm your buy-in
  • Determine your style of accountability

Empowerment & Goal Achievement

The most immediate positive aspect to achieving the first step of a goal is how empowered you will feel, especially if you’ve not ever achieved written goals. Free-spirited wander lusters like myself have this life issue. I’m glad I said that, actually. I’ve come to the realization that there is no such thing as life issues – only life opportunities.

Keep going. You can do this. Find a way to make it fun, you free-spirited being you!

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