Yesterday was Monday, the first day of reaching for the stars, those 600 thousand smackers, a sexy lean body, and more of the right kind of relationships. Let me describe the day for you. FLOP.

Why Was It a Flop?

Sunday night I went out to have dinner. Here in Italy, there’s usually wine involved. I don’t know why, but a lot of it. It’s so inexpensive here that any person can quickly become an alchy. Anyway, two bottles of wine later, which was after the welcome glass of Prosecco and the aperitivo, means I, all by my myself drank the equivalent of 1.5 bottles of wine. BY MYSELF.

Italian wine is interesting because you never get a headache from it. * Momentary digression *

Yesterday morning I woke up, but not early (at 9:00) because it turns out I didn’t get back to the apartment until 1:30 in the MORNING. I’m 51. A bottle and a half of wine AND staying out until 1:30 in the morning in a TOWN (not a city by any stretch of the imagination) is major CRAZYville to me!

I forgot to plug in my telephone to charge that night and I wanted to go for a walk since the weather FINALLY is cooperating. By the time I ate my eggs and yogurt it was around 11:00 and my phone was still charging. At 11:45 it was ready, but I was feeling exhausted. I couldn’t shake it all day long, so a shower I had and then I ate lunch at 1:00 ON. THE. DOT. Then I took a 3-hour nap, which didn’t make me feel any better.

Lesson: At 51 I’m too old to stay out late AND drink lots of wine. I’m not too old to enjoy life, but I’m too old to pretend I’m 21.

The wine drinking is one of those things that reminds me of Jacksonville, the town of alcoholics, narcissists, and every other fucktard you can think of. You can read more about the Jacksonville Scene, and why it might somehow make me despise all the drinking. Which happens here. Which I hate and must change.

My Weight Goal

My weight increased 0.6 pounds overnight. I know what you’re going to say because everyone always says the same thing: Don’t go by the scale, go by how your clothes fit. Yeah, well, if I were a perfect human being that would be simple enough, but I’m not. And I’ve sat on my hiney since the middle of June when it became hotter than hell, so I need some motivation and my daily scale readings are said motivation. Oh, I know, you’re going to tell me don’t weigh myself daily it’s demotivating. No. It isn’t. To me. Maybe to you, but not to me. I pay attention to what I’m eating and my level of physical activity if I weigh myself every single morning after I use the bathroom and brush my teeth.

You ask how did I gain those 0.6 pounds overnight? Don’t think oh, it’s ok it’s just water weight. No. It’s fat. Because here’s what I ate yesterday:

It started off ok, with my coffee & cream, 2 eggs, and yogurt. But at lunch, I had an enormous plate of spaghetti with steamed clams. Clams – good; spaghetti – bad. Dinner was ok, but the snacks. I had a cup of gelato making me not even hungry for dinner and cheese.

I use MyFitnessPal to keep track of what I’m eating. If you would like to be friends on there send me a request here. Basically, what this graph is saying is that in 5 weeks I would have lost 2 pounds. That won’t get rid of the boobs, I’m afraid.

My frustration with my diet in Italy is I am not in control of it. I am living with a family here and I never get to cook. I feel like I’m eating in a restaurant every single day (high fat content, high flour content – pasta, rice, bread, etc.). The cook is a chef (used to own his own trattoria) and I’ve gotten him to stop adding salt to everything. My ankles were balloons the first six months I was here. I also got him to stop adding sugar to everything. He’d roast red bell peppers and add sugar to make them sweeter. Huh? They have their own sweetness when roasted. I told him if he continued adding sugar I would not eat them. He said, “Mamma likes them dolce.”  Mamma has diabetes and I’m sure mamma won’t notice if there’s no sugar in them.

Two battles won. The last major battle is eating times. Mamma goes to Marche Saturday for a 2-week respite and I am NOT going to eat dinner at 8:00 anymore. The schedule here is this:

Daily Schedule in Italy

8:00 AM – Wake up (everyone races to see who can get in THE bathroom before the other)
8:30 AM – Make coffee
10:00 AM (or so) – Eat breakfast (Italians do NOT eat breakfast, or if they do it’s a stupid sugary bread) 1:00 PM – Lunch (it’s actually dinner – they cook lots of it, eat it all, and then pass out)
2:00 PM – Siesta
3:00 PM – Wake up for another coffee
8:00 PM – Dinner. Again.
9:00 PM – Go to Bed

Yesterday I was also going to start this 30 Day Yoga program I found on YouTube. Did it happen? Nope.

So, I would love a health & fitness accountability partner. I would love it to be you!

Income Goal

What did I do yesterday to get closer to those 600 thousand dollars I envision every year? I thought about them, that’s what!

I have a few ideas of what I can do to earn a living and have my own house again, like:

  • Create a luxury travel empire with multiple companies under one luxury umbrella that I create
  • Get back into IT, which I view as DULLSVILLE and BROKEVILLE
  • Create a nifty small pet company which PetSmart or Pet Co or someone will buy for $50 million smackers, but destroy due to outsourcing to China
  • Coach broken women to be their best selves ever because God knows if I can drag myself out of my deep, dark scary hole I can help others do the same. It’s time for women to stand next to each other, prop each other up, and love one another instead of all those ugly sacks of saggy balls who do nothing except take because IT’S ALL ABOUT THEM. And why do women hate each other so much? My thought is it’s because of testicles.

We’ll see where life takes me and which one of these will be the thing that propels me out of poverty and into LIVING again.

One thing I have learned when it comes to starting a business is I don’t know what I don’t know. I need to find a mentor or a partner who is smarter than me in my weak areas, who at the same time I am smarter than they are in their weaker areas.

I’m looking for balance. Not like me and my ex-psychopath: We were both spenders. He much more than me, but I didn’t have the training growing up to learn to save money. We spent, spent, spent ourselves into near bankruptcy by the time our paychecks were deposited in our accounts, at which time we had something like $50 left for two weeks. That was back in the day when you could float a check. The check he wrote to me when we were just dating that bounced should have been an eye-opener. It wasn’t. I poo pooed it as a mistake.

Relationship Goal

I sent a message to my mother and my daughter. Neither replied. Maybe it was the eclipse (in Italy it was not viewable). I wrote a very long post about where I try to decide between Coding, Wanderlusting, both, or something else. I hope I can help someone eventually. I hope I’m the only person with all this chaos in my mind which makes it quite difficult to figure things out, but I doubt it. If I knew your address I would hand-write a little note card to you, figure out how to buy stamps here (if they exist), and mail it. That note card would say:

Dear New Friend,

I am so happy we met, and I can’t wait to get to know you better! I hope that at some point in the future I can be helpful to you. In the meantime, stay in touch and have a fantastic day!

Your Friend,


Day 1 Begins Today

I went on a near 4-mile walk today and I measured how much gnocchi al sugo I ate at lunch. It’s a better day already!

I’ll see you tomorrow for our accountability session!


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